Sparks from the Fire

Of all the problems in our world today, war has to be the worst of them all.  I think it’s even worse than poverty.

Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud.  I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth.  I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace.  ~ Charles Sumner, American politician and statesman from Massachusetts.

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My own personal definition of God has changed rather dramatically over the last several decades.  I was never formally taught to believe in an anthropomorphic God, rather a God that is Love, Life, Principle, Truth, Mind, Soul, and Spirit.  However, growing up in America, or perhaps even in this world of television and public schools and diverse peoples, it was inevitable that I should accept a God of Him or Her or Father or Father-Mother.  So when I prayed, it was also inevitable and perhaps forgivable that I would pray to an anthropomorphic concept – not exactly that guy in the sky with a long white beard, but often somewhat close to that.  World thought seeped into my little brain and I gradually took on an anthropomorphic concept whether I wanted to or not.

Sistine Chapel

Around 25 years ago I had my first rock the boat experience working with my religious teacher where my God concept was so severely challenged that it shattered and broke to smithereens.  At the time it was a devastating experience.  Looking back, it was, of course, a great turning point in my life and actually spurned a huge amount of growth on my part because I needed to have my false concept exposed and done away with.  For a couple of years I even stopped praying because I had no idea who or what I was praying to.

Gradually, through study, meditation and certainly a form of prayer, I built back my concept of God on a different and more scientific and, you might say, natural gut level.  I took great steps to eliminate that “guy in the sky” concept from my understanding as much as possible.  I stopped using the gender words of He or She in reference and decided that in this English language, God would simply be, for me, an It.  I changed my prayers from requests basically to acknowledgements – acknowledgements of gratitude, acknowledgements of infinitude, acknowledgements of goodness, etc.

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In Alcoholics Anonymous they say, “Once and addict, always and addict.”  Though I deeply admire and respect the work of this organization, I’m here to say that this is just not true.  I know.  I proved it.

I was a marijuana junkie for ten years to the second.  Yes, a stoner.  Inflicted with reefer madness. )  I first got stoned New Year’s Eve 1969 at 12:00 midnight and I stopped for good New Year’s Eve 1979 at 12:00 midnight.  For the first three years I was what one might call a social smoker – weekends, parties, occasionally with a friend.  For the next four years, I was a full-blown junkie, getting stoned every day around 3:00 in the afternoon and staying stoned the rest of the day.  During that time I never really thought much about my addiction.  It was just something I did, something a lot of us did in the mid-seventies.

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Perhaps you’ve heard or read this story as it was passed around.  It’s worth repeating.

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium.  With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.

This class would NOT pray during the commencements — not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

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